Unless you have experienced it, the effects of ALS is something only imagined at best. To see my dear wife continually weaken tears me apart. Certain "milestones" if you can call them that, bring home the nasty effects of this disease.

As Linda became weaker, it was necessary to help her into bed for the night. She could get up in the morning and use the walker, and even perform some normal functions in the morning, even starting breakfast and making lunches. But one day, coming back home from a quick trip to the store, I found her lying on the floor. I couldn't get her up by myself, and no one was around, so I ended up calling 911 for help. Two sheriff's deputies came and helped me get her up.

I contacted the ALS Association of Minnesota to let them know that we needed more than just a walker for her, and within a few days, they had a power wheelchair for her, a loaner until her own could be finished. I'll continue with more of these devastating "milestones" in the future, but believe me, each and every one of them tear me apart.

Our first visit to the ALS clinic in Minneapolis took place soon after Linda's initial diagnosis. It was than that we found that the diagnosis was confirmed. We met some very loving folks there, all focused on how they could help. The most helpful of all, though, was the nurse from the ALS Association of Minnesota, who let us know that they had a lot of help available in the form of such things as wheel chairs, bed rails, toilet aids, etc. They have been wonderful.

We also made the decision to visit a Naturopatic Clinic for a two week stay to see if naturopatic/homeopathic treatments would help. This we did in late February/early March of 2011. Unfortunately, the net result was not good, and Linda continued to become weaker in her legs. We do not regret this effort. We had two wonderful weeks together while Linda was still able to move around with a walker. The love and concern of the folks at the clinic encouraged us also. But the net result was that Linda continued to decline.

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation. Romans 5:1-11 (NKJV)

Before I continue with more history, I need to say that Linda has lost all use of her legs, and most use of her arms. Her hands weaken daily. Eating is difficult for her. Her speech is weakening too.

I suppose that it was in October of 2010 that she first saw a doctor to begin investigating what might be the issue. As I mentioned before we thought it might be MS. She had several examinations, and some of those alphabet procedures like CTS, MRI, or whatever. I can't remember exactly. By December, she had had all of these tests and had her next appointment for sometime in February. In early January, she received a call from her doctor and was summoned in for a much sooner visit. The diagnosis was in. She had ALS.

When I came home from work that day and inquired as to the doctor visit, the hammer came down. It was like I was kicked in the stomach with full force. My love, my First Lady, felt the same way. That day was the beginning of many tears, and, of course, determining what we were to do about it.

For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Romans 8:22-33 (NKJV)

I think that the earliest I remember Linda taking a nasty fall which could have been caused by early symptoms of ALS was when we were doing gas line surveys in South Carolina. We were kind of "leap-frogging" to cover an area. One would walk while the other waited at the next road. She took a nasty fall at the bottom of a hill where there was a small stream. She had a terrible time and when I met up with her she was all full of mud and crying.

The next one was on our return from a visit to our son and his family in Michigan. We got home, parked, and began bringing our belongings into our apartment. Linda had a jar of coconut oil, tried to step over the beams in the parking lot, and fell. Off went the coconut oil and broke. I was so sorry this happened to her. But was somewhat perturbed that she had been so clumsy. Little did I know.

The months and years progressed and things seemed to be ok with her. Until 2010. She took a lot of spills. I can't remember them all, but they all hurt her badly. By the time of our trip to Oregon in September, she had difficulty in climbing steps, was using a cane at times. Still the falls continued. I would tell her, "Look down when you are walking." After a great number of falls and difficulty walking on that trip, I thought that Linda may have Multiple Sclerosis. I asked her to go to a doctor to see what was happening to her.

"And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I do most of my crying on the little balcony of our apartment. I told her this for the first time tonight. I have to be strong for her. I love Linda so very much. It tears me apart to see each very noticeable change in her strength. I'm scared too. I can't imagine living without her. Our 40th Wedding Anniversary will be July 22 of this year.

ALS is a very nasty, devastating, and terminal illness. I'm not going to explain it. You can find out for yourself with an internet search. But let me tell you; when we learned the diagnosis, it was like someone kicked us both in the stomach with full force. Our bodies weren't hurt, but inside we felt it. We lost a close friend to ALS not so long ago. We weren't there, so we had no idea how though things could be.

I am so tired. I wouldn't shun my responsibilities for my wife. I'm just tired. I will not neglect her, nor will I fail to do all I can for her; I can do no less. After all, we are one flesh; joined together by the Lord Jesus Christ in marriage on July 22, 1972.

Our children have been wonderful! We've had at least one visit by most of them. More than one by a couple. And one daughter has been here four times with our grandchildren. Most note-full, however is the help from Martin and his family, who, living only about four blocks away from us now, have provided most loving and tender care for Linda. We bless you all.¶

When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. "All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. "And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. "Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: ‘for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; ‘I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? ‘When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? ‘Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ "And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me. Matthew 25:31-40 (NKJV)